Who’s on your “team”

The word “team” for me is quite a loaded one.  After working in the technology and customer support arenas for so long, to me, that word “team” gets thrown around so much – to a point of it being nauseating.  And for the most part, in my opinion, really good “work teams” in the corporate 9-5 world are very rare.  Hence, I have done solo work for the better part of the last 10 years.

But today I was charged with taking stock of who might be on my “team” – of influencers, believing mirrors, inspireres, collaborators, etc.  Who do you draw energy from most out of your friends and contacts?  We were told to just write down those people.. regardless of the “how” you might connect or collaborate in the future.

My list not only included some of my own clients, but a number of people outside the periphery of things – those I speak to on social media, influencers I follow who’ve gotten to know me through my chats and comments, people who share my struggles.  Of course, for me too, there is Rita Roberts who is coming along with me and collaborating (or maybe I’m coming along with her).  But there is definitely a concept of “inner and outer circles” of influence.  Some “team members” provide different roles, different inspiration, or different inputs.  Some simply show up and give ideas or suggestions, and others are critical eyes.

The good thing is – I don’t have to KNOW how they will all play a part in this “shift” with me.  I can let these roles morph and evolve while still being a solopreneur.  Much to ponder today about “team”.

Thanks for listening!

This is Heavy

Day 3 – The Entrepreneurial Shift
Writing about what feels heavy or what we don’t like that we don’t have to do

Things I think I have to do that I might not have to do.
Things that just feel heavy that I’m doing or that exist in my business.
What am I putting money on or in because I think I need them or I’m scared I’ll fail without them? Ideas, Employees, aspects, etc.

I think that I have done a lot of this work already, but now it feels as if I need to clean out the “dust bunnies” in the cracks and corners. I’ve quit a lot of things that I didn’t think served me. I unplugged from a couple of relationships and I’ve also quit jobs, my coaching professional organization, etc. I’ve quit going to a lunch with friends that gets far too politicized.

Here are some things though, and in general – Hiding feels heavy.

* Keeping my politics and religion quiet. While I’m not at all an extremist on any side, I do have my own moderate beliefs, which when conversations start, almost all of them feel heavy. I’m a Christian but often misunderstood if I mention that I am one, because the conversation isn’t allowed to unfold into the beauty I see as a Celtic Christian. I’ve often thought that Spiritual Direction rather than coaching might be a better “fit” for me. In both politics and religion, I’m inclusive and welcome so many points of view, but among my very liberal friends, my Christianity and a few moderate stances shut them down. With conservatives, my inclusivity, compassion, and support for LGBT rights as well as my strong INVESTIGATIVE notions into faith and hidden Christianity tend to shut them down. I LOVE talking with others who love to live in the messy middle. I HAVE built some wonderful friendships because I can reach across aisles, but those are rare.

* Over-intellectualizing energy ZAPS my creativity. I have clients who cling to this intellect, their credentials, certifications, “expert-ness”, extreme logic, extreme data-driven metrics, etc. They want all the answers “now” and there’s no room for wonder, imagination, or passion. I wonder at times why they call on me. Sometimes I feel like i’m “that artist over there who I can use to attract X clients as he will help with that…” or “Scott will help me understand who I need to market to so I can bring in that demographic.” So I feel used by those in some businesses and over analyzing paradigms.

* Dropping my dog off and picking her up is heavy.  (sharing custody with my ex) I need a solution where one of us keeps her. I’d like that person to be me. I’m flung sometimes weekly or every 2-weeks into slight anxiety in meeting my ex, and I’m still in that “I’m divorced and here’s what’s happening” old story. I need to close the book on that one.

* Chasing money is heavy. However, I feel I’m good at finding creative ways to manifest it. I like creating first, then allowing it to flow, rather than “finding a patron first” and then being dictated by their will or resistance.

* Driving to and being in a large city is heavy. I rarely meet clients in Minneapolis anymore, and often I don’t like meeting friends there because I don’t like the drive, and I don’t like battling traffic.

* in coaching – I feel a bit of heavy pressure to “grab” insights and to bring them to a session, often faster than they maybe should come about. Sometimes I do it to get folks out of heavy circular conversation where they are still just in their head. But perhaps these aren’t my people.. it’s not the conversation. I almost like it better when there’s something FIRST to unlock a portion of a conversation, where we’re already in an imaginative, metaphysical, or sprit realm/space.

Honoring What I Love

Day 2 Exercise – The Entrepreneurial Shift
A free write of the things I love and love doing.

Coffee and coffee shops – I just love taking in the scenery, the people, the atmosphere, the coffee, and letting it put me in a place of comfort so that I can work, create, write, be. I feel like I’m in an idea incubator, and a conversation terrarium. So much is going on, and I feel like I often can just feed off of the energy and the ideas that are pouring out of everyone. I can write and create just by being in the electron field of everyone around me who is doing the same.

Tennis – I love setting foot on the court and having a place where I can move my body in a way that I feel I’m good at. Tennis is like art to me when I serve. It’s a challenge where I meet my demons and smash them into the opposing side. I come in to play the game and to un-apologetically win if I win. Un-apologetically create art, make aces, hit winners, and get caught up in the moment. Tennis is exciting for me! It’s high internal drama!

Singing – Since I was a little kid I’ve loved singing, and I love my voice. The opportunity to express myself and to interpret and present a living song. To move me, to move others, to tell stories, and to affect the electromagnetic field around me. I sing to the interdimensional planes and I sing to my cells and the cells of others. I want to be a change and a shift in the world, and this is where I have power to do this. I’ve made myself and others cry from singing, and it’s authentic. Sometimes I’m not polished with stage presence, but I sing from a place of intricate interpretation of art and storytelling. Artistic expression reigns there, even through the technical.

Dreaming and being in the dream space I love how my dreams are portals to those places of the subconscious world and the interdimensional spaces that DO exist that I can travel to. I do not see dreams as an artificial construct or simply our brain defragmenting. Dreams are a part of reality and consciousness. They are worlds and they are energy, and I feel that they are structured in a way where we’ve not yet tuned into the same way as the waking reality, but they exist, and they are there for us to interpret, work in, solve problems in, and receive information that is vital for our lives.

Conversations about Spirituality and Consciousness – I love to travel in these realms of wonder that cross over between boundaries of science, religion, spirituality, love, hate, conscious and unconscious belief. I think that these conversations and wonderings have exercised and expanded my mind and my own conscious living, because I recognize and see the shifts. I’m only now beginning to understand that there’s a high level of pliability in the universe and our consciousness. We have precognition far beyond what we know and what we can know. That precognition could be a part of our innate consciousness, or it could be God reaching back to us. I travel fluidly between these explanations and embrace them both not as dualities but as part of a constellation of possibility. What if God is a star? What if the big bang is still happening now, and we are a part of it, existing right now. What if our sun has its own consciousness, and reaches into our cells to produce the very essence in us of what is LIFE, LOVE, and Exsistance.

I love thinking like an artist. I love artistic expression. I often wonder what it would be like to completely immerse myself into artistic expression for a time. That perhaps this is our natural state – to create with the world within our conscious fields. And really, everything we do is Artistic expression – from the way we write to the way we think, dress, walk, wear clothing, speak, sing, etc. We’re walking art. It’s ironic the paradox of me wanting to be a constant artist and knowing really that I am already and just crave external validation..like a “look what I made mommy” kind of kid, wanting the world and universe to just be pleased or shocked, or dancing with excitement. Artists are children, who need this kind of feeding.

I love the psychic, paranormal, and spirit realms. Moreso, I love knowing that I can tap into these energies to assist me in life. I do this every day, and it’s often my secret that I don’t let out. It’s fun to have secrets, even if they aren’t so secretive and everyone has the same secret.

I love nature and trees. I love walking in the woods with my dog where I can just feel the consciousness of the trees around me. I can feel when trees are happy, and I love to witness wildlife and send out love energy.

I notice that web design really hasn’t come into my love list. hmmmmm….I think I’m good at it because I have a creative mind and I know how to manipulate technology. It’s more of a skill to make money based on how I’ve learned to adapt in the world and how to be free. I do love my freedom, so I love the PRODUCT of what doing design for others brings me – money to be in the spaces of art and learning and spirit which feed me. My work is a tool for me..and I’m good at it. I often wonder though if there are other forms of artistic expression that I could immerse myself into and also make money I need to be in the spaces I thrive in.

I love cooking and preparing my own meals. I love the self-sufficiency of it.. using what nature and the universe has provided. Living and thriving on mother earth’s bounty. Relying on God’s energy that is inside every living thing. I’m stronger and younger because of this ethic. I don’t look or act my age based on today’s societal expectations of an almost 49 year old. I believe there are others out there like me, who have relied on natural medicine, carving their own paths, and have kept themselves young to a point where eventually they must covertly change their age, as they simply do not age physically.

I love living outside the mainstream. Yes there is solitude and you can be rejected, and there is pain, but no worse than the pain of living inside a mainstream that is not in alignment with who one really is. I am fluid. Covert. Hidden. Disguised. I often step up to bloom publicly, but when and where I choose. I do this with the goal of awakening others. I love the idea that I can awaken others.

Meeting my Inner Artist

Day 1 – The Entrepreneurial Shift – Journal Entry
A summary of a meditation to meet my Inner Artist

Traveling up the path to a small secluded cottage, walking next to hand built bird houses, clothes lines, hand painted signs about hope and peace, and then being greeted softly and gently from the man inside the cottage. He was thinner than me, a little older, yet he seemed more youthful and playful. He didn’t force me to come in. He simply opened the door, looked out, waved at me, and then left the door open for me to smell the wonderful aroma of coffee brewing on a stove, as if he psychically knew I’d be arriving that morning.

He and I took walks, looked at birds, spoke of ideas for peace, did drawings and coloring together. We painted stones that we found by a nearby pond, and sipped coffee with cream and cinnamon. This Scott, the inner artist, could let things in emotionally. We cried over people and animals companions that we lost in our life. He missed his friend, the bluebird that would come to nest in the birdhouse he made. The bird, he named Felix, had not been back for a month, and tears filled his eyes as he spoke of how he missed this friend. He missed many friends, but felt their spirit in everything around him.

We finally went through the boxes of cards, letters, and pictures that friends and family had sent to him the past year. He didn’t leave his cabin often. He loved his solitude, and the days he felt lonely, he allowed himself to putter, to wander, to cry, and to be.

I left knowing that I had touched greatness when I convened with him. He was a man full of spirit and love. He cared deeply for nature, for peace, for people, and for the world.

Sharing this experience after doing this meditation the first time was difficult, because while I was touched by the imagery, I nearly cried as I wanted to go back again. I wanted to sit with him more. I wanted to wipe his tears and cry with him. I wanted to ride bikes with him on the trail, pretend we were pirates, roll in the grass, and let my worries only be for those that truly and deeply mattered.

This meditation has shown me that I need to connect with this inner artist every day. Moreover, I believe that this man, this “artist”, is who I am meant to become in this lifetime. I felt the same way about this man as I did relatives that I felt I visited all too infrequently. Our time is so limited with loved ones, and we need to embrace them as much as we can. I cannot let years and years pass again, only to find that I’ve grown substantially older than, and “distant” from, my own inner artist.

Embracing The Snail

(This is a re-post from Rita Roberts’ blog, which can be found here)

Butterflies get all the glory with their delicate beauty and whimsical flight. Everyone wants a resurrection story; to be the caterpillar who only had to discover its true self.

But I am not a butterfly, I’m a snail.

Snails get a bad rap. Yeah, we’re slow but we are purposeful, diligent and we know how to ride the current whenever needed. I don’t know about other snails, but there are entire WORLDS going on inside my shell. Maybe that’s why people want to yank us out all the time, they’re trying to snatch the the riches of our inner worlds.

The coolest thing about snail shells is that they show the mathematics of nature, the endless logic of the Golden Ratio, the Fibonacci Code, upon which much the Universe is built, including the proportions of our human bodies.

But society tells us there’s something wrong with our shell of perfect, natural proportions and we need to come out! We get the message that it’s a bad thing to be ourselves, in our natural state, made the way we are. But we’re no good without our shells. We need them to protect the delicate operations that go on within, where the real work happens.

We may seem mysterious or even boring, but it would be destructive to everything, especially to myself, to discard my shell, or an insult to God which goes like this, “I don’t like what you made me so I’m going to pretend to be something else because other people believe it is better than what you had planned for me.”

Total folly.

I’ve tried it. It’s devastating

And I don’t have to come all the way out to experience the world. I can keep my shell with me because that’s how it works to be a snail. Yes, it looks like it would be a burden to someone like a butterfly but I can handle it. I am that strong.

I’m happy to let you see inside the inner chambers of my shell, if you value, respect and appreciate the Divine wisdom of making some of us snails. Who I am and how I operate was not by my own design. My only task is to do what I’m made to do.

And this is why I write and make art. To let you see the scenic route of someone on a quiet journey.

I help people see themselves and sometimes hidden parts of the universe because of who I am. It’s not necessary for me to overcome the limitations of being just a snail. Inside my shell is a wondrous and beautiful place.

I travel the cosmos, absorb and report. I’m happy to be a snail.

Blessings to all you beautiful, diverse creatures.

— Rita, The Most Colorful Snail

Go to this link to learn more about Soul Circles for Meditation.

An Introduction to Cosmic Landing Pages

A few months ago, my friend Rita Roberts and I were immersed in an activity called “Kylego“, coined by Kyle Cease – where one speaks as if they are in a future setting, remembering a conversation, place, time, etc – and they speak about what has transpired since then in that “future space” that has yet to become manifest (or has it?).

In our Kylego session, I was speaking about a new way of doing my web design business, where I was immersed in creating simple “Landing Pages” for specific industries, and having those pages simply “laying in wait” for those businesses and individuals to claim them.  In this future space I was simply creating products, and I could just pull one off the shelf to assist anyone who came to me.

In what is called the SuperCharge phase of Kylego, Rita, my partner, also responded from her perspective, placing herself in the same future space as an observer and collaborator into the created world that I’d opened up.  This is a paraphrase of the kylego (knowing that this future space is pliable and open to embellishment and expansion):

“Scott has created these Cosmic Landing Pages where people find what they need.  Sometimes they find his landing pages in a dream, or they just show up somehow for them, and there’s no effort.  People find Scott and their authentic voice and way of being through these Cosmic Landing Pages.”

In the weeks that followed, Rita was just beginning to create her Soul Circles for others.  It was an experiment for her on letting go, and letting an artistic portal of quiet come through to illuminate her intuitive capturing of a soul space.  She had made several of these for herself, but was then beginning to create for others.

She created the one you see here, for me, that she entitled a “Celtic Butterfly” that reflected her intuitive understanding of my soul.  As I first received this image digitally, I began having dreams and lucid messages about how to pluck the strings of consciousness, and how the quantum Universe was a teacher for us all – just waiting to have us play in its observable and un-observable spaces.  Do we see particles or waves?  Can the light projected outward and reflected on other pieces of matter simply act as harp-strings for us to play and to “Listen” to their vibrations?

Once I received my physical Celtic Butterfly and hung it in my living room, I had the vision for Cosmic Landing Pages.  I immediately replaced all of the text on my own business’ website with words of extreme “out of the box” (shredding the box really) authenticity and bold statements.  These were statements of how I wanted to live in this new space as the Universe unfolded around me.  I became my Inner-Wise-(s)Elf, the Web Oracle that one client has called me for years, a Walker Among Trees, and I almost immediately began shedding those “labels” I had for myself that I felt no longer applied.

So as an introduction.. this is how Cosmic Landing Pages was born – out of words spoken from an unknown and yet to be discovered future space.  Currently, Rita and I share many ideas on the expansion of what we are doing in order to serve ourselves and others, and perhaps even to shift the world.  But at least for myself, and I believe that Rita will agree, I believe it’s better to describe the “What” and the “Why” of what we’re doing, plus some of our development in the present – before we list a bunch of services.  Those are very pliable indeed at this point.  However, I highly encourage everyone to have Rita create a Soul Circle for them.  Or, perhaps, if you want to speak to me about putting out your own authentic voice to the Universe in a Cosmic “Landing Page” – you can contact me, and we can do that too.

The process currently is informal and developing!  And we love that!
Stay tuned!